Saturday, August 13, 2005

STOP!

note: i will be mentioning the bathroom alot!lol!

ok so we're staying at the west end hotel.this adorable place with the cutest rooms,and amazing breakfast.cant comment on the other meals.didnt try em.
so the next morning we're all up (thanks to the insistnat wake up calls), and down for breakfast.
everyone is eating away beceuse we apparently have a long drive to pune and its risky eating food off the road side, so...extra sausages,a nd scrabbled eggs please!and orange juice to wash it down.
"ur having breakfast too?" asked mao, my best friend(she's very suspicious,and, lol, has reason to be)
"yea, wat like i cant have breakfast now!" me, fake defensive, cuz i know wat she's hinting at.
"well i just thought ud be a little more cautious, u know, roadside bathrooms and ur toilet-phobia!"..bingo!damn she knows me well.and she is still suspicious.
she corners me..."so how many did u have?"
"excuse me, i have no idea wat ur talking about." of course i do!
"im asking hyow many immodiums uve stuffed urself with!"
*immodiums are pills that will keep me from going to the bathroom for, say, another few hours.hehehe!*
"none"i say meekly
"bullshit"she knows me.
ok so fine id had like 2-3!but people u dont know!i suffer from this serious phobia/paranoia, watever u call it!i cant go to random bathrooms, and i cant walk into a bathroom infront of lots of people.i always feel like their timing me or something.lol.yes i look normal but am qyuite weird.
"look im only worried beceuse u had a few when we left from pakistan" she explained.heheheh!
*atleast i didnt have to go*
ok so we pile up in the car, and the ride is loooooooooong!but im ok, ill just catchup on all the sleep ive been meaning to.but its still looooooooooooong, and soon im awake trying to bring some feeling back into my legs!
we made one rest stop on the way and everyone made a mad dash for the bathrooms.lol.i scoffed, when they returned because they all looked relieved and traumatised at the same time.
*thank u stopper pills(immodiums)*
ok so we finally pull up to this hotel, which just looks like a small building...butwe enter by walking down this slope lined with plants(very pretty) and walk into this teeny tiny reception area.the first thing we see is the 'ganesh' which is the elephant god.looking all primped up, with garlands and bowls of oil and stuff in front of it!for the record everything in india smell like this particular oil.chandan oil?yea.
so we wait to be assigned rooms, and its four to a room.fair enough.we were four good friends.me, mao, smily and whisper.
(yes i use fake names, lol, howd u guess?)
but wait...fatsnob throws a tantrum beceuse she cant room with just anybody!.she wants to room with smily and whisper.hmmmm.one ofthe teachers stepped forward and told her off.
the rooms were beautiful!it was like being up in a treehouse.lot of trees around!after fresheningup, we went to our itinirary assigned places.the pune institute being one of them.its amazing.this huge institute dedicated to filmand we got to see the on campus jungle where they shot the movie jungle by ram gopal varma..
after listening to my classmates talking ive realized that the intinrary was just a front.the main agenda of this trip was shopping!and shop we did!lol!
ok so at night everyone wants to go eat mughlai food at this restaurant theyd seen in the daytime.the blue nile.
us four roomies wanted to stay and eat at the italian place downstairs.majority vote and hhhmph!
we had a total of four boys.20 something girls, and one boy to each group.when we get there, we still didnt want to eat so,we decided to head back!
hammie, our guy, freaks out.
"u cant go alone!!!ill go with u" sounding like a martyr!lol
"no hammie, stop it!its a straight ride back to the hotel.we'll get an auto(rickshaw), and tell him to take us there"
reluctantly, he let us go...
"promise to call me here when u get there safely!!" emphasis on safely.lol.
now we were just as freaked out.
"what if we get killed.havent u heard of tourists being killed on trips.this auto guy could be a killer" whispered whisper.
"hmmmm...now unless u tap him on the shoulder and reveal our identities, i dont really see it happening!" (since we'd decided to speak only in english.our urdu would always give us away as pakistanis.lol.and i suppose u cant expect everyone to understant the cross border differences, and many believe what the media and govts project.so for safety measures.plus we were alone.no boy.
now we're already worried so obviously our auto would breakdown in the middle of the road.
shit!
so we walked, praying constantly, and promising god that we'd be better muslims after this!lol!
*He's so tolerant!ive made the same promise all my life!*
"we're going to die"
"no we're not, if anything at least we know that as we speak we're being followed by someone from the indian secret service(a formality pakistanis in india, and indians in pakistan must go thru).the dudes definitly gotta intervene." lol!
so we turn into a wrong lane, get checked out by a drunk bum, who starts to follow us...we release teeny tiny screams, and runout of the lane.finally after checking every lane for ages, we found our hotel.lol.called hammie.
that night.disaster struck.for me.
as we all slept that night i suddenly heard a ferocious growl.i opened my eyes.and knew that the stopper pills had worn off!im goin down!*sniff*
after stagering out of the loo, i check my stock, and realized i only had one left.
and i had to make it last till mumbai.
*mommyyyyyyyyyyyy*
so no breakfast for me the next day!and a tentative lunch where mao promised that mcdonalds would do me no harm!
oh reallly!then why'd i have to mad dash it to the loo!i came out and cried, telling my group that i couldnt go to mumbai!i couldnt..boohoo!it was too long a drive!
nobody listened!
i spent the entire drive back, praying to Allah, to just let me make it back to mumbai, and id be ok.so i slept.the minute we entered mumbai, tummy growled.
umm..okkk...so we're in mumbai.hotel cant be far.what i didnt realize was that mumbai is HHHUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!and the hotel was another hour away.
so more praying.finally we're near the hotel!
cars stop.everyone gets off!
we're on fashion street.five minutes from the hotel.and everyone wants to shop.
"umm...i need to take the car to the hotel" i say
"ok jao, just find us here when u return"said teach
"no no!madam!too much traffic!u walk!only five minutes!" said that jerk of a driver.
"umm no ...we're taking the car, get in"
(me in italics.lol.just helping)
a few other girls decide they want to go too...im in a hurry so i tell em to get in the car fast!
"comon madam, just five minutes...walk"
enuff!so right there standing in the middle of the road, in a foriegn country, and being the private person that i am(about such matters)...here goes...

"NO WE WILL NOT WALK!DO U HEAR ME!NO WALK!WE DRIVE.WE TAKE CAR!I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!AND I HAVE TO GO NOWWWWW!SO UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BREAK UR NECK, TAKE THE KEYS AND GO OFF MY SELF, GET IN THE FUCKING CAR AND DRIVE LIKE UR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, CUS NOW, IT SURE AS HELL DOES!AND IF ANYONE ELSE HAS TO GO, GET IN NOW, BEFORE I LEAVE U BEHIND!"shocked faces, but no arguments!heheheh!

*for the record, blogging about this is difficult for me too.but since it happened and was quite a significant event,lol, im mentioning it!before someone else does!*
so we set off, everyone sitting looking at me very concerned because by now, i was almost crying!and praying to god that just this last time he needed to give me a break and constantly reciting verses prayers id learnt as a child.reaching the hotel, i ran out since id opened the door as soon as we'd turned the lane.lol.

well, i made it!everyone got out of my way!and i was a happy camper once more!
did i learn my lesson!nope.i pulled out my fresh stock of stopper pills.we had a train ride coming ahead afterall.lol!

9 Comments:

Blogger Jinguchakka said...

Hey, I like your writing very much, though I couldn't understand why "lol"s are strewed everywhere. LOL. Expecting the next post! :-)

12:44 PM  
Blogger KM said...

oh yes, fear the lol's.
its a habit, and if u see 'lols', it means im in a good mood.

1:58 PM  
Blogger KM said...

huh!
advertising in blogworld!
i thought id seen everything!

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a very real fear of public bathrooms. ha ha ha I'm right there with ya.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Gypsynan said...

Hi!

A warm Welcome to my country, (though I am not there anymore). Hope you have a great time and its really so refreshing to see such enthu kids as we say here.

Have fun and hope you go back with good memories. So did you go clubbing or not?

3:09 PM  
Blogger NV said...

Hey, that was hilarious. Just checked all of the posts that you'd made. :-)
Great pictures. Looks like you had an amazing time....
Come down to South India sometime. And do let me know. I'll make sure that you get the best South Indian food. Maybe I'll ask my mom to make those delicious Idlis for you. :-)

6:42 AM  
Blogger BBCD said...

Brilliant post kizzy.. you had me laughing out loud!

Naughty ladies wondering off alone at night, but kind-a cool too! hahaha

and that poor taxi drivier.. i cant believe you told him you needed the loo. lol you know what.. i dont like using public loos here.. and they are mostly clean.. but back home i would have serious issues too :oS

1:01 PM  
Blogger Jinguchakka said...

you seem to attract lotsa spam. It's time for next post, though!

7:58 AM  
Blogger bluecheese said...

the stopper pills rock! two pills last me a good three days though :) public loos are evil. your posts are too funny.

9:59 AM  

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